雅思写作批改5.5分作文的上升空间不少学生雅思写作方面是弱项，写过很多文章，但没有专业老师进行点评，这些练习的效果也将会大打折扣。本节小编为大家带来雅思写作批改5.5分作文的上升空间，请看详细内容。
针对想要进行雅思作文练习的学生，给出标题，学生进行写作练习，那么百利天下小雪老师将根据学生的写作情况进行修改、点评，打造真正的高分雅思写作。
学生作文修改原文：
Topic：keeping pet such as cats and dogs is beneifical to city dewllers.What do you think？
In contemporary society, it is a fact of life that the way of people live have taken place massively. Whether keeping pets is beneficial to city dwellers has been thrown into extreme focus. From my part, my view will be indentical with the keeping pets is beneficial to urban resident.
To begin with, one of the major factors of keeping pets is to creat a good ecological environment and promote harmony between people and animals.It is universally acknowledge that we live in a world in which food chain.As a result,animals and humans live in harmony is sharp necessary. What is also worth noticing here is that pets are close friends of mankind,keeping pets enable to relax people′s mood under enormous work pressure.In present-day society,more and more familier regard pets as family.Finally, to some degree,pets may save their master in danger, especially the old man lives alone and children.To illstance,pets often rescue their master from fire disaster from news report.
In spite of its benefices ,there is no denying that every now and then. Some hold the ideas that the discharge of pets would pollute the environment and it is so sick that they cannot bear.keeping pets deprives dwellers of fresh air.what′s more,some pets would hurt strangers and make noise.Therefore,they believe keeping pets is not conductive to getting along with others and affect their working efficiency.
Based on all the arguments offened above.I am an apponent of keeping pets is beneifical to city resident.Pets play an essential role for sustanible development in society.Pets not only a human partner but also a key to creat the ecological environment.
文章修改及其建议：
Incontemporary society, it is afact of life that the way of people live have taken place massively. (换成It is a fact that the way of people living haschanged a lot.)Whetherkeeping pets is beneficial to city dwellers has been thrown into extreme focus.From my part, my view will be indentical with that keeping pets is beneficial tourban resident.
To begin with, one of the major factors ofkeeping pets is to creat (create )a good ecological environment and promoteharmony between people and animals.It is universally acknowledged that we live in a world which exists the food chain.As a result,animals and humanslive in harmony is sharp(deadly) necessary. What is also worth noticing here isthat pets are close friends of mankind,keeping pets enable to relax people′smood under enormous work pressure.In present-day society,more and more familierregard pets as family member. Finally, to some degree,pets may save theirmaster in danger, especially the old man lives alone and children. Toillstance,pets often rescue their master from fire disaster which are often shown in news report.
In spite of its benefices ,there is no denying that every now and then. Some hold the ideas that the discharge of petswould pollute the environment and it is so sick that they cannot bear.keepingpets deprives dwellers of fresh air.what′s more,some pets would hurt strangersand make noise.Therefore,they believe keeping pets is not conductive to gettingalong with others and affect their working efficiency.
Based on all the arguments offened above.I aman apponent of keeping pets is beneifical to city resident.Pets play anessential role for sustanible development in society.Pets are not only a human partner but also a key to creat the ecological environment.
对于任务的回应连贯与衔接词汇资源语法结构的范围和准确性
5.5分能够比较清楚的确立观点，但是论据不够充分，很多话语过于冗长，虽然能对题目中的要求做回应，但是信息量不足，论证无力。缺乏有效的论据。 信息有一定组织但缺少总体延续性;衔接手段不充分，不准确，缺少必要的衔接词，整体行为不够流畅，句子之间、段落之间衔接不畅。 词汇的使用都是比较低级的词汇，并且有些词汇选择有问题，表达有错误，虽然能够理解，但是不够地道。 没有较为复杂的句子结构，都是比较简单的句式，没有显示出语法的多样性，句子整体语法错误较少，但是句子结构单一，没有可以加分的句子。而且语法错误很多，甚至已经影响到了正常的理解。
建议：
1.多看一些范文，积累一些相关类别文章的论点和论据。
2.继续扩大词汇量，尽量使用高级词汇，必要时使用一些复杂词汇，但一定要使用和拼写正确。
3.加强语法的学习，使表达一定要确保正确性，很多的句子已经不能正常理解。
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