雅思

长按二维码,轻松关注托福免费模考微信公众号

轻轻一按,托福水平早知道

轻轻一问,名师助你来备考

想要雅思作文出色就来学习一下吧

信息来源:网络  发布时间:2015-07-04

  想要取得雅思写作高分,考生们就要做足准备才能以最佳的状态去应战,那又该如何提高呢?考生要在词汇、句式甚至是语法等较基本的方面着手。想要雅思作文出色就来学习一下吧!一定会有所收获的。

  原文:

  Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

  Yes, the technology has changed the people’s interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people use to wait and try to find easy way to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In past there was no quick technology to contact or to establish any communication between one person to another person. The drawback with past communication systems was that it were very slow and were time taking process such as telegrams, letter etc. People used to afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their love ones due to insecure medium of communication. When it comes to professional level, the privacy and accuracy should be maintain but, to that time there were no secure communications.

  Now the things have changed around, people from far distance contact their loves one in an easy and quick ways which improves the interaction level between two person. Quality the level of the interaction between people to people, has improved because the people are equipped with high-tec technology which enhances the communication. There are many many medium which are available now such as internet, called cards etc.

  The technology has provided the mobility faster which help people to talk or to interact at any time anywhere in the world.

  People can contact their friend or relatives any time they want. It has become so easier and feriendly to be in touch with your feriends, relatives even with the unknown people.

  原文翻译:

  今天,由于科技的发展人们相互交流的方式也发生了变化。

  是的。技术改善了人们的交流方式。以前人们总是期待找到方便的方法联系居住在异地的亲朋好友。以前没有高效的技术帮助人们沟通交流。以往的通讯系统的问题是速度慢,费时间,比如:电报和信件等。在过去,人们不敢给爱人写一些私密的事情因为担心通信不够安全。专业的通信技术应该是安全的、准确的,但是在当时根本没有安全的通信可言。

  现在,这些事情已经改变了,住在远处的人们利用一种高效的方式联系他们的爱人。这些方式改善了人们之间的交流方式。因为人们使用了改善交流的高科技,所以他们交流的方式已经得到改善。现在有了很多这类媒体,比如:国际互联网、语音卡等。

  这些技术提供了更快的移动性,帮助人们在任何时间、世界上的任何地方与他人沟通。

  现在人们能够在任何时间联系亲朋好友。和朋友、家人以及陌生人的沟通变得更容易了。

  修改后:

  Nowadays,.(It is true that technology has shifted people’s communicative ways. 利用It is true that的句式突出后面的事件;Change和shift是同义词替换;the way people interact和communicative way是同义词替换。这样的变化可以避免引用题目中的原词。)

  (拒绝非正式的用法。)The technology has changed the people’s interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people used(前后时态必须一致。)to wait and try to find easy ways(名词单复数)to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In the past, there was no (词汇使用不当,应该改成effective)technology to contact others or to establish any communication between two people. And(重要的连接词,表示本句和上一句共同解释为什么“人们一直在期待找到更有效的通讯方式。”)the drawback ofthe past communication systems was that they (指代不清,这里指代的是communication systems)were too (表示“太”。)slow and were time-consuming (表示“费时”), including (这是应该使用分词形式,表示对主句的communication ways的具体描述。)the telegrams, the letter etc. Not only that,(这里需要连接词)people used to be afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their loved ones because of (because of 强调“外因”;due to 强调“根据”)information security (根据上下文理解,此处应该表达的是“信息安全”)of communication. (They worried their letters might be stolen or read by some strangers.这里可以继续描述人们的担心。)

  However,(上文主要讨论过去的情况,而接下来将讨论现在的变化)now the things have changed around.(必须避免使用“,”连接两个句子。正确的处理方法是,要么采用断句的方法,要么添加连词。)People in a long distance contact their lovesd one in (effective and efficient) ways, which improve(主谓一致,which代替ways。)the interaction level between two persons. Quality (用词重复)of the interaction between people and people(主谓之间不能添加“,”。)has been improved(这里使用被动是因为沟通质量的提升是因为技术的发展。)because they are equipped with high-techdevices which enhances their communication. There are many(重复)mediummediaavailable such as internet, called cards etc.So the technology has provided better mobility , which help people to talk or keep in touch with each other at any time anywhere in the world.(不应该单独成段,应该和上一段结合在一起。)(本句应该被删除,因为没有提出任何新的观点,并且与上文的句子非常重复。)

  以上就是想要雅思作文出色就来学习一下吧的详细内容,考生如果没有十足的把握,最好在写好一篇文章后,让自己的英文老师或是外教修改,因此,指出错误,并进行改正,渐渐地,你会发现你在进步。更多内容关注前程百利雅思考试频道,欢迎咨询我们的热线电话400-890-6000。

  您还可能关注:

  前程百利助教团队

  前程百利出国考试高分保障体系

  2015暑假雅思全日制12人保分住宿班

分享到:

相关推荐

雅思口语兴趣如何培养

充分的准备以及夯实的基础才是决胜雅思的关键

无处不在的雅思口语易错感叹词

雅思考试