托福口语中有一类话题就是人物,要求我们描述人物及其性格特点。下面前程百利托福小编就拿具体的某道题目给大家在思路上进行拓展,并结合学生的回答给予分析。
题目:Talk about one way your personality had changed since you were a child. Use examples and details to explain your answer.
题干中的第一个关键词是“personality”,那么性格的变化主要体现在以下几个方面:
1. likes and dislikes(喜好上的变化);
2. bad/good temper(脾气上的变化);
3. extroverted or introverted(社交上是外向还是内向);
4. stubborn or flexible(对事物是更加执着还是随遇而安)。
题干中的第二个关键词是“since childhood”,从时间角度我们可以来分析一下导致变化的原因可以是:
1. a certain experience(一段特殊的经历);
2. surrounding environment(周围的环境);
3. friends or families(你的朋友或家人);
4. personal training(个人接受到的培训)。
针对这道题目,我们来看一下某个学生的回答,指出这个回答中的几项错误和需要改善的地方。
①In the past, I was a very introverted person being inhibited and too shy to talk to ②people of my age, especially strangers. What’s worse, I always trembled when ③I am asked to make a presentation in front of the whole class. But one experience changed me when my father encouraged me to join in a speech club ④that most participants were younger than me. I felt like a big sister to them and my confidence was revived. Plus, being with those young children, I learned to be more responsible and courageous. This memorable experience ⑤turned me into a confident and talkative person who was not afraid of ⑥delivering speech in the public places and who ⑦enjoyed talk with other people. Until now, I still have a deep gratitude to my father for his encouragement and support.
通过分析,这个回答存在以下问题(对应的问题已在回答中标出):
①短语in the past过于简单;
②短语people of my age过于简单;
③时态错误;
④语法错误:定语从句此处先行词是地点,并且在从句中做状语,不能用that;
⑤turn……into使用过于简单;
⑥语法错误:deliver a speech或deliver speeches;
⑦语法错误:enjoy doing sth. ,同时用词过于简单。
针对这些问题,可以做出以下批改建议:
I①used to be a very introverted person being inhibited and too shy to talk to ②my peers, especially strangers. What’s worse, I always trembled when ③asked to make a presentation in front of the whole class. But one experience changed me when my father encouraged me to join in a speech club ④where most participants were younger than me. I felt like a big sister to them and my confidence was revived. Plus, being with those young children, I learned to be more responsible and courageous. This memorable experience ⑤transformed me into a confident and talkative person who was not afraid of ⑥delivering a speech in the public places and who ⑦enjoyed interacting with other people. Until now, I still have a deep gratitude to my father for his encouragement and support.
① 用used to代替in the past,句式更丰富;
② 用my peers这个高分词组代替people of my age,给人眼前一亮的感觉;
③ 用asked改正了I am asked错误的时态,并且使句式变得更丰富;
④ where正确地修饰了a speech club这个先行词;
⑤ 用transformed into这个高分词组取代了turn into这个简单词组,词汇使用更丰富;
⑥ 正确地使用了delivering a speech;
⑦ 用对了enjoy doing sth. ,与此同时使用了高分词组interact with。
通过以上的讲解,相信大家对托福口语性格类话题有了更深入的了解。大家在平时要多看一些范文,搜集一些思路,还要注意尽量避免语法上的错误,使用丰富的词汇和句式,这样才能在托福考试中拿到口语高分。
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