在托福写作过程中,不少学生为了帮助大家能够在即将到来的托福考试中取得优异的成绩,学生们花费了大量的时间和精力放在了备考托福写作的过程中,为此,下面小编就来为大家详细介绍下有关托福独立写作的相关内容,希望对考生的托福考试会有一定的帮助。
考生的作文结构不合理问题,开篇段落已经给出自己了所支持的观点了,但是在写作的时候却花大量的篇幅写自己所不看好的观点。下面用一个具体的例子来说明这个问题:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.
The internet will eventually make conventional education methods obsolete.
It is not deniable that the internet nowadays has been substantially changing our lifestyle, as we can do many things on-line. One of the improvements is on-line education. However, I disagree that the internet will eventually make conventional education methods obsolete, although on-line education does enjoys some advantages.
First, it is convenient to stay at home and study in front of a computer, where your teacher is just one click-away. You would not have to suffer from traffic jam as traveling is no longer required. If you unfortunately fall sick, you would lose nothing by missing school, as you could simply rest at home and resume your study whenever you recover. In short, convenience that on-line education provides cannot be beat by conventional education methods.
Second, the internet is a resourceful tool to acquire knowledge. Unlike going to school, on-line education allows you to use any powerful search engine to find relevant information at any time. You must not deny that many questions that our respectable teachers cannot answer could be hot topics on the internet. You would not only be able to know the answer, you may also be blessed with the information that how the answer has been derived.
Third, studying on-line at home would also be good for environmental protection. It is because there would be fewer vehicles on road and in turn less consumption of petrol. Given the environmental problem becomes ever more serious, the internet-based education would surely be welcomed by many countries.
Be that as it may, we cannot forget that certain features of conventional education methods are not replaceable by those of internet.
In addition to learn knowledge, a school is providing a platform for students to acquire people skill. Interaction and communication with people are better when you attend school and mingle with peers. It is said that many lads in China are suffering from communication problems as they indulge themselves in on-line games and do not meet people as we used to do prior to the era of internet.
Further, there are many courses that you can only take by conventional education methods. Physical education is one of them. To strike a balance between the development of mind and physic, students must leave their computers at home and gather to build up their bodies. No employer would want to hire someone who is genius but falls sick most of the time.
To conclude, despite many marvelous features that the internet can offer, conventional education methods will not obsolete.
评析:
通读全文之后,我对作者的印象就是,思考问题全面深入,语言表达能力强,但是文章内容结构安排欠合理。
我们来看ETS对这个部分的要求:
1.Address the writing topic effectively (有效地阐明主题)
2.Well organized and well-developed (条理清楚,发展充分)
3.Use specific details and examples to support your view (论据具体明确)
4.Word choices and sentence variety (遣词造句能力)
其中本文作者完全达到了1,3,4 的要求,但是2 没有满足,因为文章的内容结构安排不是非常合理,下面我们具体分析一下文章的优势和不足指出。
优点:
观点鲜明,内容充实:这个文章的作者在开篇开门见山点题表明自己的观点:I disagree that the internet will eventually make conventional education methods obsolete, although on-line education does enjoys some advantages。这点做的非常好,之后从两个方面对自己所论述的观点进行论证。这两个方面分别为:on-line education advantages 和conventional education methods的优点。
语言表达到位,遣词造句能力很强:具体表现为词汇的变化多样,例如,resume your study,beat by, a resourceful tool ,be blessed with the information that how the answer has been derived等。此外,本文的句式也是变化多样,长短句的综合灵活运用,如每个段落主题句的间接明了和论证部分长句的恰当运用,恰到好处的展示本文作者深厚的文字功底。
不足:
内容body部分的结构安排不合理:在文章的body部分作者本应该先写conventional education methods的优点,且其篇幅应该是大于写on-line education advantages,但是作者却在这里颠倒了两个主要论点的位置和篇幅,最终导致一片佳作让人读起来很别扭。
改正策略:
这篇文章可以在结构和内容方面做一些调整,例如,把on-line education的优点简单论述一下,不要展开,只是点到为止缩略为一个段落,放在传统教育方式优势的后面,这样整个文章就顺多了。这样写的好处就是花费的是减少,整个文章的行文结构也合理而分数也会上一个档次。
小结:
IBT独立作文部分agree or disagree题目的写作结构需要根据作者的观点变化,一边来说有两种模式:一种是一边倒,另外一种为折衷。
对于一边倒模式,考试需要把重点放在一种观点上,陈述支持这种观点的2~3个理由,然后用让步的方法承认自己所不支持观点的优点,此后再一次重申自己所支持的观点。
相对于一边倒模式来说折衷模式写出来的文章显得更客观和理性,但是难度也更高一些,但这种文章模式如果写的好的话,分数档次会比一边倒高。
考生可以根据个人的写作偏好和题目的类型来确定采用哪种模式,合理安排各个部分的内容和结构。
以上就是IBT独立作文结构不合理问题的内容概述,希望对大家的托福考试会有一定的帮助,如果在解析来的托福考试过程中还存在一定的问题,欢迎电话咨询我们的托福老师,我们会在第一时间为大家解决所有问题,最后祝愿大家在即将到来的托福考试中能够取得一定的帮助。
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