托福口语中有一类话题就是发展,要求我们描述近来的一些发展。下面前程百利托福小编就拿具体的某道托福口语中的发展类话题题目给大家在思路上进行拓展,并结合学生的回答给予分析。
题目:Describe the most important development of your country in the past 20 years, and explain the significance. Please include details and examples in your response.
题目中的第一个关键词是“development”,中国近20年的development主要体现在:
Computer science;
IT technology;
City construction;
Clean energy;
Entertainment industry;
Education system.
题目中的第二个关键词是“important”, “important”在这里可以理解为:
Convenience;
Efficiency;
Benefit;
Profit;
improvement.
针对这道题目,我们来看一下某个学生的回答,指出这个回答中的几项错误和需要改善的地方。
Personally speaking, I would say that computer science has greatly influenced people’s life in many countries mainly for two reasons. Firstly, it ① got people and computer network and instant messengers installed on the computers together. So it shortened distance among people and ② facilitate communication. ③ It’s like I often chat with my friends in United States through MS messenger. And there are ④ a lot of those who’s tapping this product of this high-tech in the same way in my country. Secondly, people take advantage of this technique to ⑤ have fun. You know, well-developed computer games appeal to kids and teenagers. Other people would watch various kinds of movies and achieve shopping online.
通过分析,这个回答存在以下问题(对应的问题已在回答中标出):
①这里用get…together把people和computer network以及instant messengers连在一起,由于and使用较多,导致句意不明;
②语法错误:这句中的shortened应该和facilitate处于并列结构,都以it为主语,因此语态要保持一致;
③逻辑问题:在举例之前最好用标志性的表达语给出提示,这样会使句子更加连贯,逻辑清晰;
④语法错误:主谓不一致;
⑤用词过于简单,可以采用更高级的表达方式。
针对这些问题,可以做出以下批改建议:
Personally speaking, I would say that computer science has greatly influenced people’s life in many countries mainly for two reasons. Firstly, it ① connected people with computer network and instant messengers installed on the computers. So it shortened distance among people and ② facilitated communication. ③ I’d like to refer to my own experience to illustrate this effect. It’s like I often chat with my friends in United States through MS messenger. And there are ④ a lot of those who are tapping this product of this high-tech in the same way in my country. Secondly, people take advantage of this technique to ⑤ entertain and enrich spare time. You know, well-developed computer games appeal to kids and teenagers. Other people would watch various kinds of movies and achieve shopping online.
①用connect…with可以省略掉一个and,这样表意就明确了;
②把facilitate变成facilitated,和前面保持语法一致;
③加入这个句子表示后面要举自己的例子来说明问题;
④前面是复数,因此is要改为are;
⑤把原来的have fun变成entertain and enrich spare time,是语言表达的提升。
通过以上的讲解,相信大家对托福口语发展类话题有了更深入的了解。大家在平时要多看一些范文,搜集一些思路,还要注意尽量避免语法上的错误,使用丰富的词汇和句式,这样才能在托福考试中拿到口语高分。
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